wedded bliss. . .

My husband and I recently celebrated eight years of marriage.  It's hard to believe, really.  When I look back at our wedding day, it's amazing how little we actually knew of each other. We were young, 23 and 25.  We had only been together for a total of 10 months.  Thinking about it now, it much have been a parent's worst nightmare!  For us though, we were fully committed to making it work.

Goodness, we even LOOK like kids.  Anyhow, 8 years later and we're still here!  I'm not sure how we've managed it, we've been through a lot of life things that would have probably caused a lot of problems for some couples. 

I think, for us, what really works is the manner in which we approached the relationship.  While there was all of the love and attraction that other people experience, we also went about it rather rationally.  Our relationship started with a 3 hour phone conversation where we talked about who we are, what we stand for, where we see our lives going in the future, etc.  We discussed issues from finances to how many kids we wanted to our favourite colours.  After that conversation, we pretty much got out of the way everything that you'd normally find out in the first month (or more) of dating.  After the conversation, we agreed that we wanted to see where things would go, and that if we started dating, we were both in for the long haul.  No wondering if the other person is on the same page, or ready for marriage, or any of the other uncertainties that others might have.  After four months of dating, we got engaged.  We both felt like when we got engaged, that was the moment that our forever committment started.  Waiting for the wedding was just a formality.  We both firmly believed that we were in it for the long term, and just hopping out of the relationship wasn't an option.

I'm a firm believer that because we didn't have an 'out' option, we were forced to work through everything and develop an understanding of each other.  We were forced to compromise together, and to figure out our lives together.

Just 4 years later, we were blessed with our first child, and just 14 months after that our second.  It's been an incredible and turbulant journey, but one I wouldn't want to take with anybody else. 

He's a wonderful husband, the best father, and an amazing person.  That whirlwind decision was the best I've ever made. 

Avoidance

So, this long break hasn't been a result of lack of time or any other excuse.  I've just flat out been avoiding writing. 

I had planned out two awesome blog posts, each with a father's day theme.  The first, I had planned  on honouring the memory of my own father, who passed away a little over 3 1/2 years ago.  The second, I had planned on writing about what an amazing father my husband is.  I ended up avoiding both, because I found father's day this year far too painful and the loss of my father far too much to deal with.  Some people deal with pain by talking/writing. . . I tend to avoid as long as I can before I talk/write.  So, in the near, or distant, future you may see these posts.  Until then. . .

Bed-Hogging Pre-Schoolers

After our first child was born, my husband and I had the amazing foresight (or maybe it was an evolutionary instinct, bred into parents to increase chances of survival) to upgrade our bed from a double bed to a queen.  At the time, we just needed a new mattress, and thought it was just as well to go ahead and get the queen now, rather than having to buy again in a couple of years.  We really had no idea. . .

It wasn't long, before we realized that kids love to sleep in their parents bed.  As soon as you take away the crib (and sometimes even before), which was early for us as we needed the crib for the new baby -- our oldest was about 16 months old, all bets are off.  Our kids both spent a lot of time in our bed, mostly because they were horrible sleepers and only really slept if they were in bed with us.  Don't judge, a parent does what they have to for survival.

Anyhow, what I'm trying to get across is the realization that these little people, usually able to fit into the smallest of places, manage to monopolize the space in the bed.  There have been many nights where one of our boys have crawled in bed with us, and by the time the night is over, both my husband and myself have ended up either on the couch, on the floor, in my son's bed, or some combination of the three.

The problem, is that they tend to practice their swimming moves in bed.  They get in there, want to crawl in the middle, and then complain if you touch them.  They then proceed to attempt to do a starfish move in the bed, which effectively gets rid of one parent.  At that point, it's almost as if they think "one down. . ." and move on with taking up the last 5 mm of bed that the leftover parent is clinging to for dear life.  In order to do this, they proceed to continue with the starfish move, but also attempt the backstroke, frontstroke, and whatever other kind of stroke there is.  I have often found my face being used as a pillow, feet up my rear end, arms across my eyes, etc. -- not one word of  a lie, I promise you. 

The worst, is when you are the parent that is left, and then the SECOND child decides that sleeping in mommy and daddy's bed would be ideal.  Then, not only do you have two children practicing starfish moves and using your face for a pillow, but they are also fighing each other for the space.  In this case, the parent almost certainly ends up on the floor.

Yes, this is quite the ordeal.  And the worst part is that it happens almost every. single. night.  What does this equal? TORTURE, that's what!  Whoever told you that the lack of sleep goes away after the baby gets through infantcy was a flat out, bold faced liar.  Don't believe anything they say.  The lack of sleep lasts FAR beyond the toddler stage, and definitely into the pre-school stages.  I'll keep you updated on future stages, just in case you are depending on my experiences before deciding on whether or not to have children.

What's the moral of the story?  A king sized bed really is probably the best way to go.