My husband and I recently celebrated eight years of marriage. It's hard to believe, really. When I look back at our wedding day, it's amazing how little we actually knew of each other. We were young, 23 and 25. We had only been together for a total of 10 months. Thinking about it now, it much have been a parent's worst nightmare! For us though, we were fully committed to making it work.
Goodness, we even LOOK like kids. Anyhow, 8 years later and we're still here! I'm not sure how we've managed it, we've been through a lot of life things that would have probably caused a lot of problems for some couples.
I think, for us, what really works is the manner in which we approached the relationship. While there was all of the love and attraction that other people experience, we also went about it rather rationally. Our relationship started with a 3 hour phone conversation where we talked about who we are, what we stand for, where we see our lives going in the future, etc. We discussed issues from finances to how many kids we wanted to our favourite colours. After that conversation, we pretty much got out of the way everything that you'd normally find out in the first month (or more) of dating. After the conversation, we agreed that we wanted to see where things would go, and that if we started dating, we were both in for the long haul. No wondering if the other person is on the same page, or ready for marriage, or any of the other uncertainties that others might have. After four months of dating, we got engaged. We both felt like when we got engaged, that was the moment that our forever committment started. Waiting for the wedding was just a formality. We both firmly believed that we were in it for the long term, and just hopping out of the relationship wasn't an option.
I'm a firm believer that because we didn't have an 'out' option, we were forced to work through everything and develop an understanding of each other. We were forced to compromise together, and to figure out our lives together.
Just 4 years later, we were blessed with our first child, and just 14 months after that our second. It's been an incredible and turbulant journey, but one I wouldn't want to take with anybody else.
He's a wonderful husband, the best father, and an amazing person. That whirlwind decision was the best I've ever made.